how is it already october, the semester halfway behind us, me almost nineteen?
i've been home twice and already more people have visited me than all last year.
i love it.
it still hurts to leave though. still, i find it harder to be left than to do the leaving. the train gets me where i need to go and gets me back how i need to be in each place.
fall semester always flies. home this coming friday, plans this weekend. then halloween. then my birthday. then ryan's. the booksale, then thanksgiving. december, just like that. three weeks, less if my finals are scheduled well, and i'm back home for a month. its spring semester that drags.

this year is already so much better than last. i feel more like me here, and at home and with everyone.
i've been going to way more shows, just like i said i would last year. psychology looks like a dead end for me now, but i have a plan and i know that everything will work out like everything else has been.
i am turning over a new leaf and i love it. i love fall and i love this semester.

i really just want to sleep for the rest of forever.
which sounds really fucking suicidal, but it isn't, so whatever.

nothing should be this hard.

ryan and kaitlyn just left. i am sad. but we had a great twenty-four hours together.
also i believe i am running on CHOCOLATE and LOVE and NUGS and like three hours of sleep.
i have work tomorrow at six am and a midterm at eleven.
faaaaaaaaaaaantastic.

i am seriously getting sick and tired of the immaturity and the melodrama.
plus the disposal/sink is backed up and one of my favorite bands broke up and i have a huge list of homework and nobody's coming this weekend.
i have never been able to handle myself when i get more than four or five shitty things on my plate.

i'm always the one in the relationship who loves more.